Category: Co-Parenting

6 Important Life Lessons Children Learn From Divorced Parents

A divorce demands a lot from everyone involved. It is emotionally tough for you and your ex-partner, but also for your child (ren). There are plenty of aspects of a divorce that have negative feelings and consequences for a child. But they also learn important life lessons from it.

The American mother Laura Lifstz describes the other side of the story from her own experiences. Namely, in addition to all the unpleasant experiences, also what lessons children can learn from a divorce. However, this is not pedagogical advice, but written from a personal point of view.

The life lessons children learn through divorce

The following points are tools for parents whose situation cannot but end in divorce . For example, through intense experiences, such as physical or emotional violence. There shouldn’t be a feeling that it is always better to stay together.

  1. Flexibility

Children learn to be flexible or at least they learn how important this is. After all, children often have little say in where they live, how much time they spend with which parent and who their stepparents will be. Children of divorced parents are more likely to learn to take life as it comes. Life is simply impossible to predict and plan from A to Z, such a the time for your child to use small portable baby swing and more. Because a child of divorced parents already receives this, he or she will also benefit from this as an adult.

  1. Collaborate

Unfortunately, it does not always happen that a divorce or co- parenting goes well. But for the children who fortunately experience a relatively ‘calm’ divorce , there are advantages. They immediately see what good cooperation means. And how to stay polite, even if you don’t agree.

  1. That other people can sometimes disappoint us

Let’s face it: there are also plenty of situations where a parent isn’t the nicest person on the planet. Such a situation is of course not an easy matter. Of course you prefer to save your child this. But at the same time, your child learns that people you should trust can disappoint you. That we should be grateful for the people who are there for us. And that not always everyone can be trusted.

They are sad lessons that you’d rather be spared a child. But it is a useful thing to have as a person in personal development. We all get disappointed at one point or another by someone we love. However, it does become a problem when a child grows up thinking that all romantic relationships end in failure. Or if they have a fear of commitment and have trouble trusting adults and other authorities. If you notice that your child is experiencing these feelings, you can seek professional help.

This Is What Parents – According To Experts – Must Do For Good Co-Parenting

Co-parenting is anything but easy and requires flexibility from both parents . For many parents it is difficult to find a good balance, but fortunately there are experts who can give tips for flexible co- parenting .

  1. Keep communicating and don’t use your child as a conduit

According to experts, it is absolutely not good to use your child as a messenger to pass on certain things to your ex-partner. You really have to take the step to continue to communicate openly, no matter how difficult that may be. Experts therefore recommend communicating directly, only in this way can you prevent miscommunication and misconceptions.

  1. Use an agenda together

Another tip that experts give is to share a common agenda. For example, download an app where you both use appointments and reminders. That way, not only do you and your ex-partner know where you stand, but you can also inform your children at an early stage. It also makes scheduling appointments and holidays easier.

  1. Make both houses a safe place

There is nothing more important to a child than a safe and warm home, so it is important that you and your ex-partner both do your best to give your child a nice home. According to experts, children unconsciously count on their parents to protect them and be responsible for their safety. It is therefore important that both parents take care of the safety and protection of their child, also by building a safe haven.

Never talk badly about your ex-partner

According to experts, there is one important thing to remember and that is that you and your ex-partner chose a divorce, not your children. It is therefore out of the question to talk badly about his or her mother or father in the presence of your child. As tempting as it may be to give the occasional snarl, don’t. Your child will end up in a dilemma and struggle with conflict.

  1. Sit around the table every month

Whether you and your ex-partner can get through a door well or not, it is important to get together every month. Discuss what you liked, what went less well and talk about the physical and mental health of your child. In addition to keeping each other informed, you also set a good example for your son or daughter. They learn that it is good to always communicate with each other, even when you are no longer together.